


I'm Not Crazy

by Im_writing_out_of_time



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angelica is a bitch, Child Death, Eliza deserves better, car addident, clinical mental diagnosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:18:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_writing_out_of_time/pseuds/Im_writing_out_of_time
Summary: Eliza sees Peggy every year on her birthday, even though Peggy died on her second birthday after being struck by a car. After years of not being able to prove Peggy's still alive, and years of psychiatrists, she finally finds Peggy and stops her.But Angelica still won't believe her.





	I'm Not Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> There may be a Part 2, there may not be. Stay tuned.

"Daddy why are you crying?" 

Philip Schuyler whipped around, angrily wiping at the tears on his face. He kneeled down beside his young daughters. "Angie, Eliza, there was an accident." He pressed his daughters close to his chest. "Peggy didn't make it, babies. Peggy died and she's with the angels now." 

"When is she coming home?" Eliza whimpered. She had turned three last month and was looking forward to her baby sister's birthday today. Peggy was two now. 

The tears slid down the general's face. "She's not, baby doll. She's not coming home. She's staying with the angels." He wrapped his arms around the girls once more. "I love you girls so much, you know that, right?"

"Daddy?" 

Philip looked at Angelica, her eyes were rimmed red. "What Angie?"

"Did the car kill her?" 

_"Daddy, daddy, daddy! Look! Look daddy! Look at Peggy!"_

__

__

Philip turned around to see his youngest daughter running at the road, chasing a ball. 

_"Peggy! Stop!"_

The car never saw her coming. 

"Yeah baby," he said, his voice cracking. "The car killed her. And that's why you never, _ever_ , ever go in the road without mommy and daddy, okay?" 

"Okay daddy." 

Eliza continued to ask when Peggy was coming home. 

* * *

Eliza had never come to terms with her sister's death. 

_"Angelica, I know I saw her."_

Every year since she was seven, she would insist on seeing their sister- at the mall, the park- always on Peggy's birthday. She would start sobbing when Angelica had to break it to her again and again. 

_"It's not Peggy, sweetheart. You know that."_

__

__

_"I know what I see Angelica! I see her!"_

And here they were again- September 24- and the girl was laughing with friends as she walked through the mall. Her curly hair was bouncing around her shoulders, and she was wearing a red and yellow print dress. Peggy's favorite color was yellow. Peggy had curly hair. It had to be her. 

Eliza looked at Angelica, standing in line in the food court. Angelica's eyes were scanning the menu, paying no attention to her sister next to her. Eliza had started bouncing in her spot behind Angelica. Her eyes followed the curvy girl through the food court. 

"Angelica," she whispered, nudging her sister in the side. "Angelica, there she is. Look." Angelica didn't move her eyes from the menu. "Angie!" Tears began welling in her eyes. This is always what happened. She'd always look too late. "Angie look please." The girl was fast fading from view and Angelica was too busy ordering her food to pay attention. 

Eliza jumped over the stanchions that marked the line and began to jog across the food court to catch up with the girl. She stumbled in the heels she was wearing but she found the girl disappearing into a Forever 21. 

Eliza took post, sitting on a bench outside Forever 21, waiting for the girl to reemerge. Her phone rang in her pocket and she rolled her eyes. It took Angelica long enough to notice she was gone. She answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Elizabeth Schuyler where did you disappear to?" 

"Why does it matter? You were too busy ordering food to listen to me. You're always too busy to listen to me, Ange. And I'm done with people thinking I'm crazy for seeing Peggy. I know it's her and I'm gonna wait for her and talk to her. And I'll do it myself since you don't believe me." She hung up the phone and shoved it in her back pocket, putting it on silent. 

She sat outside the store, waiting. After what seemed like forever, but was only twenty-six minutes, Angelica came and sat beside her. "I got you a burger," she said, holding it out. "I'm sorry for not listening." 

"You never listen Ange. I'm not crazy, and I'm not imaging her." 

"Honey, she died a long time ago. You're nineteen, Elizabeth. Peggy died sixteen years ago. It's time to accept things. You don't even know how she would look if she was still alive, so why do you think this girl is her?"

"It has to be..." she said, her voice breaking. "I know what she would look like Angelica. I've been seeing this girl since I was seven. It has to be her, she looked just like Peggy twelve years ago, and she looks like Peggy now." She batted at a tear on her cheek. "Just leave."

"Eliza," she started. 

"Leave. I don't want you here." Her voice was low, deadly. Venom spit with every word she said. 

Angelica stood up and grabbed her purse. "I'm leaving the food here. I already ate, so this is all yours. I'll be shopping. Call me when you're ready to go home." She kissed Eliza on the cheek. "I love you." 

Eliza was sick of being considered crazy by everybody. She had gone through therapy. She had gone from psychiatrist to psychiatrist and they had all diagnosed her with different things, but she knew there was nothing wrong with her. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't imagining things. There was a girl out there, and she looked just like Peggy. She had to be Peggy. 

How long does it take a group of girls to shop in one store? Eliza had been sitting on the bench for the better part of fifty minutes, but she was still waiting. She had to talk to the girl. 

Eliza remembered the first time she had heard anything specific pertaining to Peggy's death. Of course, she had the vague memory of Peggy running in front of a car- a red one- and the screech of tires. She remembers hearing the man pleading for forgiveness. _I never saw her_. She remembers walking in on her father crying in his study. 

They had to tell her that Peggy died in the hospital. She suffered the whole way there, she died on the way to the OR. They hadn't even put her under anesthesia yet. She died on a gurney, alone, blood filling in her lungs. 

She was nine when she started asking for specifics. But she still didn't believe Peggy had died. After all, she saw her, every September 24. 

The girl finally walked from the store, the girls flanking her sides were no longer there. She carried a bag in her hands and she was walking directly towards Eliza. Eliza stood up and grabbed the bag of food Angelica had left her. 

"Peggy," she called, waving. "Peggy!" 

The girl- Peggy- continued on her way past Eliza. Eliza reached out and grabbed the girl's arm. 

"Peggy?" 

The girl jumped in surprise as delicate fingers wrapped around her arm. "I'm sorry?" 

"Peggy?"

The girl shook her head. "No, my name is Maria. I don't know anyone named Peggy. I'm sorry but I'm not who you're looking for." 

Eliza shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "You have to be." 

Maria pulled Eliza's hand from her arm and led her to the bench beside them. "My name is Maria Lewis. I'm not Peggy." 

Eliza put her head in her hands and pushed her hair back. "They were all right," she sobbed. "I'm crazy. I'm so sorry for bothering you." 

Maria tossed her bag on the floor and set a hand on Eliza's back. "You're not crazy. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Uh, no. I don't want to take up your day." Eliza swiped at a tear on her face. 

"I don't have anything else planned until later tonight. I can talk. Or listen."

"My sister, Peggy. She died sixteen years ago, and I've been crazily thinking you were her all along. You look exactly like she would look today. I've seen you every year, September 24 and every year I held onto the fact that my little sister was still alive. It would have been her birthday today." 

"It's my birthday," Maria whispered. "I'm sixteen." 

"Peggy would have been eighteen. She loved the color yellow and she always wore her hair half up. She loved wearing dresses while she stomped through the mud with her red rubber boots. I've been seeing you at the park or the mall every year on her birthday, and you looked just like her, I just- I just thought that you were her all along." She sighed dejectedly. "All those psychiatrists were right. I am crazy." 

"You're not crazy. It's an honest mistake. How old were you when Peggy... died?" 

"I had just turned three."

"Your mind was trying to rationalize losing your sister. You're not crazy. You just miss her." Maria stayed quiet for a moment, her hand running through her hair. "You wanna know something weird? I know you. I know your face. I recognize you and I feel like I know things about you that I shouldn't. Your favorite color is mint green, isn't it?"

Eliza looked down at her outfit. It was her favorite color, and yet she wasn't wearing anything visible that could have given it away. "It is, but-"

"I don't know how I know, Eliza. But I do." Eliza had never given this girl- Maria- her name. The girls sat in silence, Eliza mourning the loss of her sister once more. She had been gone this whole time. "How about," Maria spoke. "You come to my birthday party tonight. We'll have some drinks and it'll be fun. Gimme your phone. I'll put in my number." 

Eliza tentatively set her phone in Maria's hand after opening the message app. "Just send yourself a message and I'll save your contact later," she said, but Maria was already filling out her contact info. 

"I'll send you the details later. I gotta go now though. Will I see you there?" 

"Uhm," Eliza started. "I don't know. My family usually does something for Peggy's birthday. Do you mind if I call my sister so she can meet you? She's thought I was crazy all these years." 

"Yeah. Go ahead. Call her." 

Eliza took her phone from Maria's hand and dialed Angelica's number, listening to it ring until she picked up. Eliza had the phone on speaker phone and Angelica's resigned voice filled the air. "What, Eliza?" 

"Angie, I found her. She's right here. She-"

Eliza, I'm waiting in the car. Right outside Forever 21. Let's go. We have to go home." 

"But Angelica-"

"You're nineteen Eliza. It's time to start facing facts. Peggy is dead. She has been for sixteen years. Now let's go. It's time to go home. I'm done indulging in these crazy ideas of yours. It's time to grow up." 

Eliza's face fell. "Okay. I'll be out." She turned to Maria. "Sorry. I gotta go. Maybe I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, of course," she said. "Don't worry about your sister. In fact-" She took Eliza's phone and opened the camera. "I'm gonna take a picture for you." She pouted her lips and stuck up her middle finger, snapping a photo. Eliza couldn't help but laugh as she dried the tears welling in her eyes. She winked and stuck her tongue out, middle finger still rigid by her face as she snapped another photo. She snapped a few more, less middle finger, more smile. "Show her some of those. Mainly the 'fuck you' ones." 

Eliza laughed. "I will." 

"Text me sometime. I'd love to have a fun new friend," Maria said as Eliza turned. 

"I will," she said, walking away. She had a slight bounce in her step. She wasn't crazy. At least, not completely. She hadn't been imagining the girl all these years and now Angelica would see how wrong she had been. She walked through the outside doors and straight towards her sister's dark colored car. "You were wrong," she stated as she climbed in. 

"Oh, how's that?" 

Eliza threw her phone in Angelica's lap. The picture of Maria pouting her lips and flipping the bird was pulled up. 

Angelica stared at the picture for a moment. "She was actually real? No, you saved these from the internet." 

Eliza swiped to the side a few times, landing on a picture Maria had insisted Eliza join. "I'm not crazy. It's not Peggy, but I'm not crazy. I've seen her every year since I was seven. You were wrong," she whispered, grabbing her phone. "You were all wrong. I'm not crazy."

**Author's Note:**

> Stalk me on tumblr
> 
> @im-writing-out-of-time


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